Thursday 31, (continued)
We met a fabulous woman from South Africa, Nomfundo Walaza, who is CEO of the Desmond Tutu Peace Centre in Capetown. She spoke at the 4pm session on her participation in some of the Anglican commission and her refusal to be the minute-taker in a group of all males. When she described apartheid, she remembered asking her aunt why she couldn't play in the park used only by whites, and her aunt answered “not yet.” She also talked about manipulation of white guilt and being careful to look at the power dynamics. She's a clinical psychologist and is doing work on reconciliation. Another speaker that afternoon was Vicki Grey, a transgendered mtf who is a deacon in San Francisco and has a night ministry helping the homeless.
Then we went to a briefing at the LGBT communication center to listen to what had been happening during the day with the bishops. We attended a supper event sponsored by Inclusive Church with Richard Burridge who wrote “Imitating Jesus” and Nomfundo again. They both agreed that Jesus' actions were inclusive of all people.
Then we hurried off to see a play called Seven Passages by students from Western Michigan State based on biblical scriptures and testimonies of various gay people. It was very moving and excellently done. Gene Robinson attended which meant a lot to the cast and writer/director. Our bishop Thomas and his wife Ann were also there. So that day was very full!!
Friday, August 1
We started as usual with the bible study group and today's lesson was John's writing about Jesus and Lazarus. Sissi read the part of Jesus and in a very strong voice, said, Lazarus, Come Out!! Having different people reading the different parts makes it come alive. Then we discussed questions of how this applies to our lives now. Of course, the obvious is for gay people to come out.
The 4 pm session on multi-faith work was a bit disappointing, but we were able to share out SIT experience of a black, gay Imam who had spoken on Religion and Sexuality. We went to another briefing and stayed for barbecue and good friendship. There was also a party there which some of the American bishops attended, and Thomas and Ann Ely came.
Saturday, August 2
We led the bible study group this morning, again looking at the Lazarus passage with expanded questions. The study sheets were late arriving, but Janet did a good job of beginning with introductions because we had new people attending, and then asked for what had been their best experience at Lambeth. I facilitated the readings and discussions. Doing the group work felt easy and the biblical discussion was not so scary. These daily groups provided an anchor and good feelings for all of us.
Our time at Lambeth concluded with a Eucharist back at the Communication Centre with about 25 LGBT folks in attendance. It was very moving with hymns and prayers and communion. We felt very connected to the Holy Spirit in that group. The service was led by an English woman priest who works now in California and by retired Bishop Christopher from Uganda. We said our goodbyes to friends from many different countries and hope to keep in touch with each other. Now when we look at a map of the world, we see Michael in Kenya, Mia and Rose in Nigeria, Chris and Ron in Canada, Jenny and Sue in New Zealand, Rowan and Nomfundo in Capetown, South Africa, David and Greg and Claire in England, and other friends from the US.
It's been extremely sad thinking about the shunning of Gene by the Archbishop, and the danger that our African LGBT friends live in, and the wasted energy over trying to keep us second class.
It's been very affirming to see straight, white, male US bishops stand up for us and refuse to trade away our rights. We're pleased to say that our Vermont bishop, Thomas Ely, is one of our strongest supporters. We feel very lucky to be living in Vermont, when Janet is able to be there. That immigration discimination continues to plague us.
We hope that this blog has given you a taste of what Lambeth has been like for us. Thank you for your prayers and good wishes. We have felt you with us.
Peace and Blessings,
Sissi and Janet
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Love from Lambeth
Monday, July28
It was good to get back to our group for Bible studies. It was again the passage about loaves and fishes and the 5000. We discussed how some fretted that there wasn't enough food, while others used what was available, the 5 barley loaves and 2 fishes from a boy. It was interesting to hear other interpretations and applications for today's world.
We forgot to mention that there was a Eucharest on Saturday night sponsored by Inclusive Church with the Bishop of Mexico presiding and Lucy Willetts from St. Paul's in London preached the sermon. She mentioned Carter Heyward in her comments and I later got to say that I knew Carter in college and that it was nice to hear her quoted.
On Gene's blog, we learned that he was taking the weekend off, at an undisclosed location. When he had tried to visit Canterbury Cathedral on Thursday with a videographer, with prior approval, he was told by security that he couldn't do it, because the Cathedral was open for ALL people, as if Gene was not part of ALL people. Hearing these kind of stories makes us very sad for Gene and for the rest of us. Our emotions feel like being on a daily roller coaster. Gene's private meetings with some of the conservative bishops seem to be happening as he had hoped, but they do so in guarded privacy which he respects and protects.
We continue to visit the different stalls in the Marketplace such as The Episcopal Church with a wonderful woman from Atlanta who has brought hundreds of fans like we used to have at revivals in the Methodist Church for those long hot summer nights, with the cardboard with wooden handle, usually provided by the local funeral home. They were such a welcome site as we sweltered on the second floor balcony.
We had a listening session with several folks including a trans-woman who was here as part of a 5 person panel to talk to the bishops about transgender issues. It was very moving to hear her describe the hateful experiences she had endured. We listened to a young Asian man who was in the Redeeming Lives stall. They feel that gay people are in sin and must leave the gay relationships and lifestyle to be able to really be acceptable.
Another trans-woman is African, from Nigeria who was in the video, Voices of Witness Africa. We are inspired by the courage and dignity of all of the people we've met who are struggling with real life and death issues. It reminds us that we are very privileged and lucky to have so many blessings. Being here has helped put our issues and problems into proper perspective.
We went to a lunchtime opening of The Art of Reconciliation an exhibition that the Sudanese Church put on with Christian Aid. Since the end of the South Sudanese war efforts have been made to engage people in art projects to enable healing. One of the Sudanese Bishops present, Bishop Hilary, was also an artist and a sculpture he had made was on display. It was of three intertwined fishes – each fish representing one of the three local tribes.
The US presiding bishop Katherine Jefferts Schori was at one of the book stalls signing her book this afternoon so we got one for us and one for St. Michael's library. We also gave her a copy of our handout for the Compassionate Listening session we did last week. We would love to work on a proposal to bring Compassionate Listening training to the Episcopal Church.
The 4 pm session today was more to do with church politics and structure of various commissions. It seems that there may some kind of oversight committee trying to enforce no more gay bishops, no more same-sex blessings among other things. We've heard that some of our supportive US bishops are saying that the LGBT folks will not be sacrificed and we'll not go back. Thank God for them.
We took our new friend, John W. from Middletown, NY, to the pub at St Margaret's on Cliff and we had a wonderful time. A storm blew across the English channel ending with a complete rainbow.
Tuesday, July 29
Bible study today was about two of the disciples on a boat on Lake Galilee in the middle of a terrible storm. Jesus came to them and told them to not be afraid and that they then immediately were safe at shore. Janet noted that the disciples were already there but did not realize it. It all references back to where we are at Lambeth.
At lunchtime we went to see and support African LGBT folks dancing and drumming beside the sign 'We're Here – LGBT Anglicans'. This happened near where the Bishops meet and many people were drawn by the beat of the drums. We then went inside to listen to more testimony from the African LBBTs. One poignant message was not to racialize homophobia – it's not just an issue in Africa. Also to sit down with and support African LGBTs but not try to lead the struggle. Mia talked about how often the T gets left out – that we don't talk about transgender issues and gender identity. One person spoke about how often US Aids support is anti-gay. Sissi apologized for the US Govt. and said we hope it will change in November – to much applause.
The 4 o'clock talk was about families needs and the experiences of LGBT families in church. Our friend Mimi from Baltimore, and Elizabeth, a lesbian rector from Chatham, New Jersey, spoke of the love and support their families receive from their episcopal churches. Our friend Sally from North Carolina talked about the work she is doing with children in her congregation.
We had supper sitting outside in a square in Canterbury at Cafe Rouge with Mimi and Sally.
Wednesday, July 30
Bible study again – this time about Jesus healing the blind man. What are our attitudes to the causes of sickness and suffering? The implications of the blind man – saying I am – that Jesus is not just with us but is in us.
After this we meet with a new friend we have met and listen to his story. He is just coming out and this has many implications for his family and his church.
Joy follows us as we go to the Holy Socks stall! Of course we engage in some peaceful retail!
The 4 o'clock meeting is with Jenny, a Maori woman from New Zealand who participated with the Windsor Report at the request of Archbishop Rowan Williams. Her experience was marred when she engaged with some of the more determined conservative members, and they apparently leaked information to the press that wrongly implied conservative opinions had been adopted by all. She said that she spoke with Rowan and asked him to stand up to the bullies. When it came to discussing the present at Lambeth we felt frustrated because Bishop Marc Andruss had come and there was no time to hear from him. We know that he has said he will not abandon LGBT Christians. This is good to hear as we are feeling abandoned.
Already feeling excluded by the US Government, it is painful to feel excluded from The Church. We long to be home at St. Michael's where we feel so included. We are ready to come back to Brattleboro- our home.
We drive out to the country to sit in a pub garden and wonder – where are we meant to be – and what are we meant to do. We are trying to resist this feeling sorry for ourselves and to count our blessings but it's hard. It feels like exile – just waiting in limbo. What joy when we remember that Betsy is coming to Scotland in a couple of weeks.
Thursday July 31st
As I type this date I remember this is the date that my [Janet] mother died. Jessie became a Christian late in life and I regret that she never came to St. Michael's – she would have loved it and you would have loved her. Today is THE day when the Bishops discuss human sexuality and mission. We have all been asked to wear rainbow ribbons. We have been wearing them all along with our inclusive church buttons.
I forget the order of events but the other day they came out with moratoria on same sex blessings, ordaining any more openly gay bishops, and cross border issues [US churches seeking to be guided by African bishops]- this came out with the creation of a pastoral forum which has disciplinary powers.
We don't know all the details but it all came out before today's discussion – so it all seems a done deal. Anyway we're off to witness.
It was good to get back to our group for Bible studies. It was again the passage about loaves and fishes and the 5000. We discussed how some fretted that there wasn't enough food, while others used what was available, the 5 barley loaves and 2 fishes from a boy. It was interesting to hear other interpretations and applications for today's world.
We forgot to mention that there was a Eucharest on Saturday night sponsored by Inclusive Church with the Bishop of Mexico presiding and Lucy Willetts from St. Paul's in London preached the sermon. She mentioned Carter Heyward in her comments and I later got to say that I knew Carter in college and that it was nice to hear her quoted.
On Gene's blog, we learned that he was taking the weekend off, at an undisclosed location. When he had tried to visit Canterbury Cathedral on Thursday with a videographer, with prior approval, he was told by security that he couldn't do it, because the Cathedral was open for ALL people, as if Gene was not part of ALL people. Hearing these kind of stories makes us very sad for Gene and for the rest of us. Our emotions feel like being on a daily roller coaster. Gene's private meetings with some of the conservative bishops seem to be happening as he had hoped, but they do so in guarded privacy which he respects and protects.
We continue to visit the different stalls in the Marketplace such as The Episcopal Church with a wonderful woman from Atlanta who has brought hundreds of fans like we used to have at revivals in the Methodist Church for those long hot summer nights, with the cardboard with wooden handle, usually provided by the local funeral home. They were such a welcome site as we sweltered on the second floor balcony.
We had a listening session with several folks including a trans-woman who was here as part of a 5 person panel to talk to the bishops about transgender issues. It was very moving to hear her describe the hateful experiences she had endured. We listened to a young Asian man who was in the Redeeming Lives stall. They feel that gay people are in sin and must leave the gay relationships and lifestyle to be able to really be acceptable.
Another trans-woman is African, from Nigeria who was in the video, Voices of Witness Africa. We are inspired by the courage and dignity of all of the people we've met who are struggling with real life and death issues. It reminds us that we are very privileged and lucky to have so many blessings. Being here has helped put our issues and problems into proper perspective.
We went to a lunchtime opening of The Art of Reconciliation an exhibition that the Sudanese Church put on with Christian Aid. Since the end of the South Sudanese war efforts have been made to engage people in art projects to enable healing. One of the Sudanese Bishops present, Bishop Hilary, was also an artist and a sculpture he had made was on display. It was of three intertwined fishes – each fish representing one of the three local tribes.
The US presiding bishop Katherine Jefferts Schori was at one of the book stalls signing her book this afternoon so we got one for us and one for St. Michael's library. We also gave her a copy of our handout for the Compassionate Listening session we did last week. We would love to work on a proposal to bring Compassionate Listening training to the Episcopal Church.
The 4 pm session today was more to do with church politics and structure of various commissions. It seems that there may some kind of oversight committee trying to enforce no more gay bishops, no more same-sex blessings among other things. We've heard that some of our supportive US bishops are saying that the LGBT folks will not be sacrificed and we'll not go back. Thank God for them.
We took our new friend, John W. from Middletown, NY, to the pub at St Margaret's on Cliff and we had a wonderful time. A storm blew across the English channel ending with a complete rainbow.
Tuesday, July 29
Bible study today was about two of the disciples on a boat on Lake Galilee in the middle of a terrible storm. Jesus came to them and told them to not be afraid and that they then immediately were safe at shore. Janet noted that the disciples were already there but did not realize it. It all references back to where we are at Lambeth.
At lunchtime we went to see and support African LGBT folks dancing and drumming beside the sign 'We're Here – LGBT Anglicans'. This happened near where the Bishops meet and many people were drawn by the beat of the drums. We then went inside to listen to more testimony from the African LBBTs. One poignant message was not to racialize homophobia – it's not just an issue in Africa. Also to sit down with and support African LGBTs but not try to lead the struggle. Mia talked about how often the T gets left out – that we don't talk about transgender issues and gender identity. One person spoke about how often US Aids support is anti-gay. Sissi apologized for the US Govt. and said we hope it will change in November – to much applause.
The 4 o'clock talk was about families needs and the experiences of LGBT families in church. Our friend Mimi from Baltimore, and Elizabeth, a lesbian rector from Chatham, New Jersey, spoke of the love and support their families receive from their episcopal churches. Our friend Sally from North Carolina talked about the work she is doing with children in her congregation.
We had supper sitting outside in a square in Canterbury at Cafe Rouge with Mimi and Sally.
Wednesday, July 30
Bible study again – this time about Jesus healing the blind man. What are our attitudes to the causes of sickness and suffering? The implications of the blind man – saying I am – that Jesus is not just with us but is in us.
After this we meet with a new friend we have met and listen to his story. He is just coming out and this has many implications for his family and his church.
Joy follows us as we go to the Holy Socks stall! Of course we engage in some peaceful retail!
The 4 o'clock meeting is with Jenny, a Maori woman from New Zealand who participated with the Windsor Report at the request of Archbishop Rowan Williams. Her experience was marred when she engaged with some of the more determined conservative members, and they apparently leaked information to the press that wrongly implied conservative opinions had been adopted by all. She said that she spoke with Rowan and asked him to stand up to the bullies. When it came to discussing the present at Lambeth we felt frustrated because Bishop Marc Andruss had come and there was no time to hear from him. We know that he has said he will not abandon LGBT Christians. This is good to hear as we are feeling abandoned.
Already feeling excluded by the US Government, it is painful to feel excluded from The Church. We long to be home at St. Michael's where we feel so included. We are ready to come back to Brattleboro- our home.
We drive out to the country to sit in a pub garden and wonder – where are we meant to be – and what are we meant to do. We are trying to resist this feeling sorry for ourselves and to count our blessings but it's hard. It feels like exile – just waiting in limbo. What joy when we remember that Betsy is coming to Scotland in a couple of weeks.
Thursday July 31st
As I type this date I remember this is the date that my [Janet] mother died. Jessie became a Christian late in life and I regret that she never came to St. Michael's – she would have loved it and you would have loved her. Today is THE day when the Bishops discuss human sexuality and mission. We have all been asked to wear rainbow ribbons. We have been wearing them all along with our inclusive church buttons.
I forget the order of events but the other day they came out with moratoria on same sex blessings, ordaining any more openly gay bishops, and cross border issues [US churches seeking to be guided by African bishops]- this came out with the creation of a pastoral forum which has disciplinary powers.
We don't know all the details but it all came out before today's discussion – so it all seems a done deal. Anyway we're off to witness.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
More tales from Canterbury
Tuesday July 22
Felt a bit down today as the reality of being in England beyond Lambeth hits. We went to try and register for the conference so that we can go to events – but were told it wasn't possible. This felt so frustrating – to come this far and not be recognized as being present and now without a lanyard and a name tag would we be excluded from everything. The organizer assured us it would make no difference.
Later in the day we'd planned to go hear Gene speak but it turned out tickets were limited and we'd didn't realize in time that we had to book online. We were numbers 10 and 11 on the standby list. Oh well maybe others need to hear him more – we've seen him speak several times elsewhere. We think often of Gene and how sad and frustrated he must feel. We read his blog and pray for him at evening prayer at our little adopted church St Stephen's.
Our US friend Joyce, arrived for 3 days and cheers us up as we go out for dinner in a beautiful rural English pub, sitting by a waterfall in the flower garden. It all helps to get us back on track. We had the best crème brulee ever!!
Wednesday July 23
We all went to the Market Place in time for bible study. The Market Place is in the University Sports Centre where all the vendors and groups have stalls. There is no official space for us to meet but someone has found a balcony above where we can meet each day at 11am. It's noisy but the only place where we can all sit to meet. Our Bible study is John's gospel parallels what the Bishops are studying – with the same questions. We see some faces we know from Monday and some new ones. It was a wonderful discussion and we feel part of a strong Witness at Lambeth.
We are not the only ones lacking ID badges and the group Integrity takes us over to get badges and lanyards through their organizations. But it is not to be – we get the same refusal. There is now a rule that organizations hosting events have to get a written list of non registered folks who are invited to their events – so we have to be sure we are signed up to everything to be let in. However we did get a disabled car park sticker for the Market Place – this is a major achievement that makes life so much easier. As Janet parked, Sissi made friends with the Security guard of this car park and we talked to him for a while. He is frustrated too at all the different rules about who can go where and who has been told what.
We went back to the Market Place to sign up for events. We met folks at the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement, Inclusive Church, Integrity and Changing Attitude stalls- all wonderful, welcoming people. The logo for Inclusive Church is beautiful like a a rainbow flower with loose multicolored brush strokes emanating from the center.
At night, we saw a wonderful video preview called Voices of Witness Africa done by Thomas' friend, Cynthia Black and Katie Sherrod. It interviews GLBT Africans, who are in great danger in their home countries. Some did not show their faces. The video refutes the claims by many African bishops who say there are not GLBT people in their countries. Some of the participants were there and we admired their courage and dignity. Davis, a gay man from Nigeria, told us of words in local dialects that connote gay people. He said that LGBT people have always been part of their culture – it was not brought by western missionaries -but rather they imported western homophobia. We learn later that Davis from Nigeria has been awarded asylum in the UK. He is so happy!
Two other men that we have met have been ministering to LGBT people in their communities and have been denounced by the church as 'promoting homosexuality'. Michael is a priest from Nairobi in Kenya, and Bishop Christopher, from Uganda, who as a retired bishop, has been defrocked and deprived of his pension for his ministry to LGBTs. He even had to spend some time in the US because he was fearful of being sent to prison or even for his life.
Thursday July 24
This was an off day because all the bishops except Gene went to London to see the Queen for tea and to walk to end poverty and to meet the Prime Minister. It was nice to have a day off and we went to the Cathedral with Joyce and later to see the White Cliffs of Dover. We ate at a wonderful little pub next to the beach at St Margaret's on Cliff.
Friday July 25
Joyce left at 6am by taxi to Gatwick for her return to US. We continued with Bible study with our group of about 15-20 of LGBT plus allies. It's proving to be very supportive and we bring the lessons from Jesus' time to the present. Janet and I feel unskilled in Bibical stuff, but are enjoying the fellow/sistership and looking at applying those values to present day.
In the Market Place we go visit different stalls. Today we went to talk to a young minsiter who works to 'redeem' ex gays. We go open to listen - to look for the values where we can connect. We can agree that we are looking for wholeness and that God loves us. He maintains that though God loves us - he is asking for more - for us to change our ways. He wants us to go to another booth - joyful that we would listen to him. But we say later - we'll go another day.
We usually return to the hotel for a swim to cool off. It's been very warm—high 80's.
Saturday July 26
Bible study was a little awkward because many of the priests took the weekend off, and the less talkative including us were left to do the discussion. At the 4pm presentation, a wonderful man, Rowan Smith from South Africa told us about his life. He was Archbishop Desmond Tutu's secretary where he helped get LGBT rights into the South African constitution. He showed us his “green card” which classified him as Cape Coloured - this affected where he could go, where he could live, who he could marry etc. He told us of how he got to vote for the first time when he was 51 years old. Now he's Dean of Capetown. He has given us a postcard showing photos of Tutu at his 75th birthday.
Sunday July 27
We went to church at our adopted St Stephens who had a bishop of Canada saying the Eucharist. We really like Justin the rector who showed us earlier the plaque on the wall commemorating 'the first gay civil partnership back in the 1800's who were together in life for 70+ years and were then buried together.' How amazing!!
We rested and swam back at the hotel, again to cool off.
We also needed time to reflect. It's been a very intense and sad time
Felt a bit down today as the reality of being in England beyond Lambeth hits. We went to try and register for the conference so that we can go to events – but were told it wasn't possible. This felt so frustrating – to come this far and not be recognized as being present and now without a lanyard and a name tag would we be excluded from everything. The organizer assured us it would make no difference.
Later in the day we'd planned to go hear Gene speak but it turned out tickets were limited and we'd didn't realize in time that we had to book online. We were numbers 10 and 11 on the standby list. Oh well maybe others need to hear him more – we've seen him speak several times elsewhere. We think often of Gene and how sad and frustrated he must feel. We read his blog and pray for him at evening prayer at our little adopted church St Stephen's.
Our US friend Joyce, arrived for 3 days and cheers us up as we go out for dinner in a beautiful rural English pub, sitting by a waterfall in the flower garden. It all helps to get us back on track. We had the best crème brulee ever!!
Wednesday July 23
We all went to the Market Place in time for bible study. The Market Place is in the University Sports Centre where all the vendors and groups have stalls. There is no official space for us to meet but someone has found a balcony above where we can meet each day at 11am. It's noisy but the only place where we can all sit to meet. Our Bible study is John's gospel parallels what the Bishops are studying – with the same questions. We see some faces we know from Monday and some new ones. It was a wonderful discussion and we feel part of a strong Witness at Lambeth.
We are not the only ones lacking ID badges and the group Integrity takes us over to get badges and lanyards through their organizations. But it is not to be – we get the same refusal. There is now a rule that organizations hosting events have to get a written list of non registered folks who are invited to their events – so we have to be sure we are signed up to everything to be let in. However we did get a disabled car park sticker for the Market Place – this is a major achievement that makes life so much easier. As Janet parked, Sissi made friends with the Security guard of this car park and we talked to him for a while. He is frustrated too at all the different rules about who can go where and who has been told what.
We went back to the Market Place to sign up for events. We met folks at the Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement, Inclusive Church, Integrity and Changing Attitude stalls- all wonderful, welcoming people. The logo for Inclusive Church is beautiful like a a rainbow flower with loose multicolored brush strokes emanating from the center.
At night, we saw a wonderful video preview called Voices of Witness Africa done by Thomas' friend, Cynthia Black and Katie Sherrod. It interviews GLBT Africans, who are in great danger in their home countries. Some did not show their faces. The video refutes the claims by many African bishops who say there are not GLBT people in their countries. Some of the participants were there and we admired their courage and dignity. Davis, a gay man from Nigeria, told us of words in local dialects that connote gay people. He said that LGBT people have always been part of their culture – it was not brought by western missionaries -but rather they imported western homophobia. We learn later that Davis from Nigeria has been awarded asylum in the UK. He is so happy!
Two other men that we have met have been ministering to LGBT people in their communities and have been denounced by the church as 'promoting homosexuality'. Michael is a priest from Nairobi in Kenya, and Bishop Christopher, from Uganda, who as a retired bishop, has been defrocked and deprived of his pension for his ministry to LGBTs. He even had to spend some time in the US because he was fearful of being sent to prison or even for his life.
Thursday July 24
This was an off day because all the bishops except Gene went to London to see the Queen for tea and to walk to end poverty and to meet the Prime Minister. It was nice to have a day off and we went to the Cathedral with Joyce and later to see the White Cliffs of Dover. We ate at a wonderful little pub next to the beach at St Margaret's on Cliff.
Friday July 25
Joyce left at 6am by taxi to Gatwick for her return to US. We continued with Bible study with our group of about 15-20 of LGBT plus allies. It's proving to be very supportive and we bring the lessons from Jesus' time to the present. Janet and I feel unskilled in Bibical stuff, but are enjoying the fellow/sistership and looking at applying those values to present day.
In the Market Place we go visit different stalls. Today we went to talk to a young minsiter who works to 'redeem' ex gays. We go open to listen - to look for the values where we can connect. We can agree that we are looking for wholeness and that God loves us. He maintains that though God loves us - he is asking for more - for us to change our ways. He wants us to go to another booth - joyful that we would listen to him. But we say later - we'll go another day.
We usually return to the hotel for a swim to cool off. It's been very warm—high 80's.
Saturday July 26
Bible study was a little awkward because many of the priests took the weekend off, and the less talkative including us were left to do the discussion. At the 4pm presentation, a wonderful man, Rowan Smith from South Africa told us about his life. He was Archbishop Desmond Tutu's secretary where he helped get LGBT rights into the South African constitution. He showed us his “green card” which classified him as Cape Coloured - this affected where he could go, where he could live, who he could marry etc. He told us of how he got to vote for the first time when he was 51 years old. Now he's Dean of Capetown. He has given us a postcard showing photos of Tutu at his 75th birthday.
Sunday July 27
We went to church at our adopted St Stephens who had a bishop of Canada saying the Eucharist. We really like Justin the rector who showed us earlier the plaque on the wall commemorating 'the first gay civil partnership back in the 1800's who were together in life for 70+ years and were then buried together.' How amazing!!
We rested and swam back at the hotel, again to cool off.
We also needed time to reflect. It's been a very intense and sad time
Friday, July 25, 2008
Sunday and Monday at Lambeth
Belated blogging!!! Sorry for our delayed start – all sorts of excuses but never mind we'll recap.
Sunday July 20th
We came to Canterbury a day early as Sis found out about the LGBT Eucharist which was to happen on Sunday afternoon, with Gene Robinson and other bishops present, on St. Stephen's field. People were picnicking when we arrived as rainbow spirals spun and a sign pronounced 'We're here'. The altar was a raised platform and a woman expressed concern that the wind might blow off the glasses of wine prepared there. But nothing untoward happened weather-wise – even the rain held off and we were treated to sunshine. It did feel like the strong wind was the Holy Spirit swirling around us.
As the service began we were invited into the circle roped off. We took our newly acquired picnic chairs and were encouraged to move further forward. We ended up sitting behind two other women on chairs. The bishops, including Gene, came over from the church hall, and we all clapped as they came to the service. Then somehow the two women in front of us moved and Gene stood right in front of us. Then eventually the other bishops came over to him. We felt like Tom Hanks in the movie Forest Gump where he is in the photos with the famous people! We were filmed on the tv coverage that night on BBC.
Reflecting afterwards on the service both Sissi and Janet had independently thought if anyone tries to hurt Gene we'll throw ourselves in the way. So we thought maybe we should start The Two Fat Ladies Protection Agency! There were about 200 people present including 18-30 Bishops. During the Peace we shared with Bishop Thomas Ely and Bishop Robinson, and brought greetings from St Michael's to both of them. Just before the service we had spoken with Ann Ely. As people lined up for communion many stopped to greet Gene warmly. Throughout our service, others in the park were walking dogs, Asian boys were kicking the soccer ball, and others stopped to see what was going on.
Rev. Susan Russell gave a powerful sermon about 'Mind the Gap' and among the readers were Rose and Davis from Nigeria. Susan recalled the story of the children's game of the giants, wizards and dwarfs and how the person telling each group where to stand was asked by a small girl 'Where do the mermaids stand?' After a brief hesitation he said 'here with the King of the Sea'. So here we are mermaids, standing just where God wants us to be.
Monday July 21st
We spent the morning preparing for our presentation on Compassionate Listening in the afternoon as part of the Care-full Listening session at St Stephen's. We had a 20 minute slot. We knew which listening exercise we wanted to do but needed to work out what to say about a complex issue in five minutes. God answered our prayers and we came up with a simple outline which we used and then put on a handout to be shared at the end. We thought we'd share it with you too:
___________________________________________________________________________________
Handout:
Alongside Lambeth July 21, 2008: Compassionate Listening
'behind every act of violence lies an unhealed wound'
'an enemy is someone whose story we have not heard'
Gene Knudsen Hoffman [a Quaker who first coined the phrase Compassionate Listening]
Listening to everyone on all sides of issues – the oppressor as well as the oppressed -seeing the humanity in all. We're used to empathizing with the victim – it's harder to listen to the victimizer – but all are dehumanized in the interaction. It's especially challenging to listen to those with whom we deeply disagree. Even if we're not openly hostile or challenging, we often form judgments that impede our listening.
How can we listen and build bridges to all sides?
Listening with the heart – and speaking from the heart
Inside everyone is a core of goodness or God-ness.
We try to connect from our own core of goodness- our heart to the heart of the other – in order to find connection, respect, love and other core values. The purpose of listening is to focus entirely on the speaker – we use a centering practice – prayer, meditation, breathing etc. We help the speaker to go deeper by listening silently, or reflecting back to confirm if we understand correctly, or by open ended questions. Speakers often say how healing it can be to be deeply listened to.
Focus your attention on the speaker – if your mind wanders come back to center,
ignore thoughts of how this relates to me, advice giving to 'fix it', curiosity, arguments to counter what said. If this happens be compassionate with yourself and let these thoughts float by.
Listen on different levels
We're listening for facts, feelings and values. Our belief is that the speaker has a beautiful core essence - despite any wounds and defenses, or what they may be saying – and we as listeners are looking to connect with their humanity, and searching for what core values are important for them behind their words, and what core values feel threatened or missing for them
The Compassionate Listening Project [TCLP] teaches powerful skills for peacemaking in our families, communities, on the job, and in social change work locally and globally. Our curriculum for Compassionate Listening grew out of our many years of reconciliation work on the ground in Israel and Palestine. We adapted our trainings and began to teach in the U.S. in 1999. We now offer trainings and workshops worldwide for everyday peace-building, as well as an Advanced Training and Facilitator Certification program.
www.compassionatelistening.org
Janet Brocklehurst and Sissi Loftin
We have both worked with TCLP since 2002 and are now completing Facilitator Certification. We attended training and delegations to Israel / Palestine, and have recently set up training in our parish community at St Michael's Episcopal, Brattleboro, Vermont. We have also been to Sarajevo and Cyprus studying with the conflict transformation program [CONTACT] at The School for International Training, Brattleboro, Vermont.
We're here at Lambeth to offer compassionate listening to people on all sides of the human sexuality issue. Please get in touch with us if you'd like to be listened to, would like to talk more about compassionate listening, or about future trainings in the UK or US.
sissiloftin@hotmail.com, janetbrocklehurst22@hotmail.com 0779 453 9113.
____________________________________________________________________
After the introduction we we did a demo exercise to show how facts, feelings and values work. Janet, a UK citizen, talked about her issues with immigration in the USA- that despite having a Civil Union from Vermont she can't live there full time. It amused people that our cat who is also British is allowed to stay in the US as long as she likes and travel back and forth with her pet passport! The key values that emerged from Janet's story were identified as community, family, justice, honesty and wholeness. These are values that anyone could relate to and can be a point of connection – whether we can relate to the story or not.
We shared the session with Rev'd Canon Sue Burns from New Zealand, who had contributed a chapter on Sexuality and Identity, in the book which has been given to all the Bishops to read: The Anglican Communion and Homosexuality. She spoke about how, after Lambeth '98, she has created listening groups to listen to LGBT groups in 5 dioceses in New Zealand and Fiji. She had been influenced by the Public Conversations model from Cambridge,Massachusetts. She spoke prayerfully respecting the church where we were, ancestors, the land and the presence of those whose voices she had brought.
About 22 people were present and we received positive feedback, including from Janet Marshall who co-wrote the chapter on Listening and Dialogue, in the previously mentioned resource book for the Bishops. We were really pleased to have pushed through our nervousness and glad that we had introduced Compassionate Listening on the first day. We'll introduce you to some of those present over the next few days.
We're so grateful for Thomas and Jean, our ministers at St Michael's, for encouraging us to come, and we send our good wishes to all who are praying for us.
Peace and love,
Janet and Sissi
Sunday July 20th
We came to Canterbury a day early as Sis found out about the LGBT Eucharist which was to happen on Sunday afternoon, with Gene Robinson and other bishops present, on St. Stephen's field. People were picnicking when we arrived as rainbow spirals spun and a sign pronounced 'We're here'. The altar was a raised platform and a woman expressed concern that the wind might blow off the glasses of wine prepared there. But nothing untoward happened weather-wise – even the rain held off and we were treated to sunshine. It did feel like the strong wind was the Holy Spirit swirling around us.
As the service began we were invited into the circle roped off. We took our newly acquired picnic chairs and were encouraged to move further forward. We ended up sitting behind two other women on chairs. The bishops, including Gene, came over from the church hall, and we all clapped as they came to the service. Then somehow the two women in front of us moved and Gene stood right in front of us. Then eventually the other bishops came over to him. We felt like Tom Hanks in the movie Forest Gump where he is in the photos with the famous people! We were filmed on the tv coverage that night on BBC.
Reflecting afterwards on the service both Sissi and Janet had independently thought if anyone tries to hurt Gene we'll throw ourselves in the way. So we thought maybe we should start The Two Fat Ladies Protection Agency! There were about 200 people present including 18-30 Bishops. During the Peace we shared with Bishop Thomas Ely and Bishop Robinson, and brought greetings from St Michael's to both of them. Just before the service we had spoken with Ann Ely. As people lined up for communion many stopped to greet Gene warmly. Throughout our service, others in the park were walking dogs, Asian boys were kicking the soccer ball, and others stopped to see what was going on.
Rev. Susan Russell gave a powerful sermon about 'Mind the Gap' and among the readers were Rose and Davis from Nigeria. Susan recalled the story of the children's game of the giants, wizards and dwarfs and how the person telling each group where to stand was asked by a small girl 'Where do the mermaids stand?' After a brief hesitation he said 'here with the King of the Sea'. So here we are mermaids, standing just where God wants us to be.
Monday July 21st
We spent the morning preparing for our presentation on Compassionate Listening in the afternoon as part of the Care-full Listening session at St Stephen's. We had a 20 minute slot. We knew which listening exercise we wanted to do but needed to work out what to say about a complex issue in five minutes. God answered our prayers and we came up with a simple outline which we used and then put on a handout to be shared at the end. We thought we'd share it with you too:
___________________________________________________________________________________
Handout:
Alongside Lambeth July 21, 2008: Compassionate Listening
'behind every act of violence lies an unhealed wound'
'an enemy is someone whose story we have not heard'
Gene Knudsen Hoffman [a Quaker who first coined the phrase Compassionate Listening]
Listening to everyone on all sides of issues – the oppressor as well as the oppressed -seeing the humanity in all. We're used to empathizing with the victim – it's harder to listen to the victimizer – but all are dehumanized in the interaction. It's especially challenging to listen to those with whom we deeply disagree. Even if we're not openly hostile or challenging, we often form judgments that impede our listening.
How can we listen and build bridges to all sides?
Listening with the heart – and speaking from the heart
Inside everyone is a core of goodness or God-ness.
We try to connect from our own core of goodness- our heart to the heart of the other – in order to find connection, respect, love and other core values. The purpose of listening is to focus entirely on the speaker – we use a centering practice – prayer, meditation, breathing etc. We help the speaker to go deeper by listening silently, or reflecting back to confirm if we understand correctly, or by open ended questions. Speakers often say how healing it can be to be deeply listened to.
Focus your attention on the speaker – if your mind wanders come back to center,
ignore thoughts of how this relates to me, advice giving to 'fix it', curiosity, arguments to counter what said. If this happens be compassionate with yourself and let these thoughts float by.
Listen on different levels
We're listening for facts, feelings and values. Our belief is that the speaker has a beautiful core essence - despite any wounds and defenses, or what they may be saying – and we as listeners are looking to connect with their humanity, and searching for what core values are important for them behind their words, and what core values feel threatened or missing for them
The Compassionate Listening Project [TCLP] teaches powerful skills for peacemaking in our families, communities, on the job, and in social change work locally and globally. Our curriculum for Compassionate Listening grew out of our many years of reconciliation work on the ground in Israel and Palestine. We adapted our trainings and began to teach in the U.S. in 1999. We now offer trainings and workshops worldwide for everyday peace-building, as well as an Advanced Training and Facilitator Certification program.
www.compassionatelistening.org
Janet Brocklehurst and Sissi Loftin
We have both worked with TCLP since 2002 and are now completing Facilitator Certification. We attended training and delegations to Israel / Palestine, and have recently set up training in our parish community at St Michael's Episcopal, Brattleboro, Vermont. We have also been to Sarajevo and Cyprus studying with the conflict transformation program [CONTACT] at The School for International Training, Brattleboro, Vermont.
We're here at Lambeth to offer compassionate listening to people on all sides of the human sexuality issue. Please get in touch with us if you'd like to be listened to, would like to talk more about compassionate listening, or about future trainings in the UK or US.
sissiloftin@hotmail.com, janetbrocklehurst22@hotmail.com 0779 453 9113.
____________________________________________________________________
After the introduction we we did a demo exercise to show how facts, feelings and values work. Janet, a UK citizen, talked about her issues with immigration in the USA- that despite having a Civil Union from Vermont she can't live there full time. It amused people that our cat who is also British is allowed to stay in the US as long as she likes and travel back and forth with her pet passport! The key values that emerged from Janet's story were identified as community, family, justice, honesty and wholeness. These are values that anyone could relate to and can be a point of connection – whether we can relate to the story or not.
We shared the session with Rev'd Canon Sue Burns from New Zealand, who had contributed a chapter on Sexuality and Identity, in the book which has been given to all the Bishops to read: The Anglican Communion and Homosexuality. She spoke about how, after Lambeth '98, she has created listening groups to listen to LGBT groups in 5 dioceses in New Zealand and Fiji. She had been influenced by the Public Conversations model from Cambridge,Massachusetts. She spoke prayerfully respecting the church where we were, ancestors, the land and the presence of those whose voices she had brought.
About 22 people were present and we received positive feedback, including from Janet Marshall who co-wrote the chapter on Listening and Dialogue, in the previously mentioned resource book for the Bishops. We were really pleased to have pushed through our nervousness and glad that we had introduced Compassionate Listening on the first day. We'll introduce you to some of those present over the next few days.
We're so grateful for Thomas and Jean, our ministers at St Michael's, for encouraging us to come, and we send our good wishes to all who are praying for us.
Peace and love,
Janet and Sissi
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